My 20-year struggle with chronic fatigue was the catalyst for this blog. Here I will share the things I learned on my journey of pain, discovery and healing.

The descent

My struggles built over time, rather than being caused by one single event. After I had graduated from university, I worked crazy hours and pushed myself to the limit. Then, just after getting married, I decided to change careers. I went back to school full-time, while still working full-time. Somewhere in there I was diagnosed with fibrositis, which was the first of many names my symptoms were given over the years.

Once I was out of school the second time, we decided to move to Oregon to be closer to my husband’s family and to escape the rat-race in Southern California. It was the right decision at the time, and we were both excited for the change, but I didn’t realize how much I would miss what I left behind. While Oregon was beautiful, and we loved a lot of what it had to offer, I discovered how much my body needs the warmth of the sun and my spirit needs the ocean. This was before social media, so I also lost touch with many of my friends, and I had a terrible time making new ones. So on top of everything else, I was overcome with loneliness.

My darkest time

While in Oregon, there was a period of many years when I was barely functioning. I was in pain and completely exhausted, to the point I could hardly put one foot in front of the other. Looking back I realize I was depressed, and that it wasn’t “normal” to spend the entire weekend napping on the couch. I just didn’t have enough in me to do much of anything. Everything was a struggle. Even basic things.

This was a very dark time for me, and there was a point when I considered taking my life. I have hidden this and never told anyone until now. But I realized that I needed to share my darkness for those who may be in that place, so they know when I say things were rough, that’s what I mean.

Searching for answers

The path back was not easy. Many times I was overcome by despair and hopelessness, but I kept searching for answers. After western medicine failed me, I continued looking for ways to restore my energy, give me relief from pain and heal my body. Even then it was not a straight line to healing. For every step forward there was often one or more steps backwards. Things that seemed to work one day failed me the next. But through it all, I continued my search.

Hope for healing and health

As I learned more about health and different modalities I started making changes in diet and lifestyle. My journey lead me to alternative caregivers, healthy diet and natural, non-toxic products. We also moved back to SoCal where I could have the sun and ocean energy that I craved. Eventually my body began healing and I started to find my way out of the darkness. Although I do not have it all figured out, my life has greatly improved. Now I’m back to living life, and I’m coming out the other side.

Sharing what I learned

My hope is that by sharing the lessons I’ve learned, I can help others start on their healing path. I am not a doctor or a practitioner. I am simply sharing what has worked for me. If even one small seed of this information helps someone else on their journey, I will consider this blog a success.

Here’s to health!

Susan